Battle of the Bards

Preparing for the show

The party promotes The Punch Drunk Loves and prepares for the show at the Drunken Wyvern. They debate the band's name, repeatedly mangling it into variations of Punch Drunk Love, Love Drunk Punch, and similar phrases before settling on The Punch Drunk Loves.

The party keeps its disguises. Grenak remains Granke beneath the fake mustache, while Mruno worries about being recognized as a former Silken Sonic performer and about the Guild's interest in him.

Carly appears unexpectedly from the dressing-room area. Her presence is unsettling because no one knows how long she has been watching the party. She is still fixated on Mruno and continues to behave as if their relationship is inevitable.

Marina is harder to locate and appears to be trying to manage the tavern, the show, Carly, and the growing crowd. The tavern keeper supplies drinks while the party waits for the performance to begin.

The rival act arrives

The crowd divides as several people in coordinated black outfits enter. The Silken Sonic members arrive looking polished, unhappy, and professionally committed to a show they do not appear to enjoy.

Dark Bronson enters with dramatic lighting, fog, and a theatrical costume. Grenak describes his clothing with fascinated confusion, including the color, the cape, the glasses, and the exaggerated front of his pants. Dark Bronson presents himself as wealthy, beautiful, and destined for greatness.

Grenak initially fails to recognize Mruno in disguise and continues describing Mruno to nearby patrons as though Mruno is a different person. The conversation includes Mruno's eyes, hair, wealth, and the future stone ring Grenak intends to give Bertha. The disguise holds until the party's history makes the truth obvious.

Dark Bronson announces himself as the star of the evening. The Silken Sonic musicians begin playing behind him despite their visible lack of enthusiasm.

Dark Bronson's performance

Dark Bronson performs first. His song is a parody of a recognizable anthem and claims that Mruno has no spotlight and Dark Bronson has come to claim it. References to Lady Arabelle and other public figures are meant to make him sound culturally important. They do not.

Dark Bronson's singing is poor, but he performs with absolute confidence. The crowd claps politely or nervously. The party and the audience recognize that the song resembles an existing pop hit. Dark Bronson drops the microphone and steps away as if he has just delivered a historic performance.

The crowd's verdict is essentially, “What the fuck was that?” Dark Bronson nevertheless believes he has proven himself the greatest performer in the region.

The Punch Drunk Loves take the stage

Mruno organizes the band's entrance and uses magical effects to support the performance. The musicians come in sequence:

Valen Silverpalm plays the jug.

Grenak Goateater performs the drum part, using the spoon technique developed during rehearsal.

Roland Blackstone plays the warhorn without a mouse inside it.

Reese plays the fiddle with surprising precision.

Marina Beltweek plays the banjo.

Mruno Bars provides the lead vocals and stage direction.

Mruno uses Bardic Inspiration and other performance support to help the group. He whispers to Marina during the performance and tells her that she looks good. Marina becomes distracted but recovers enough to continue.

Mruno then delivers the band's anthem:

> “I'll drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and fight!”

The crowd begins stomping and clapping with the beat. The performance becomes louder and more energetic as the audience joins in.

Carly's entrance and the stage kiss

During the song, the pantry door breaks open and Carly bursts into the room. She tears off her outer shirt to reveal an “I love Mruno Bars” layer underneath and pushes through the crowd toward the stage. A group of excited fans follows her.

Mruno asks Marina to help control Carly. Marina agrees to improvise. He dips and kisses her in front of the crowd, and the moment looks entirely convincing.

Carly immediately bursts into tears. She believes Mruno has betrayed her. The crowd, meanwhile, becomes even more excited.

Dark Bronson's challenge

Dark Bronson storms toward the stage and accuses the party of artistic theft. He claims that the Punch Drunk Loves are copying or stealing the emotional power of his performance. His anger is amplified by the crowd's enthusiasm for the party.

Marina confronts him. The tavern is hers, and he will not insult the performers or dictate the room's reaction. She kicks Dark Bronson squarely in the groin.

Dark Bronson folds over in pain. Marina tells him to stop sounding like a squawking chicken and leave her bar. The audience turns decisively against him.

The second riot

The celebration becomes a riot. Dark Bronson's people and the tavern crowd push and fight while magical fireworks erupt before the rival group. The blast distracts the crowd and starts a fire.

Magical darkness covers the escape, catching rival performers and patrons alike. People crash into furniture, lose the exits, and abandon any remaining hope of leaving in an orderly fashion.

The party decides to leave through the back rather than continue fighting. Grenak grabs beer while escaping. Reese and Roland help clear a path. Valen yells for everyone to move. Marina initially appears to be coming with them, but the only obvious exit is blocked or difficult to access.

Carly's tunnel

Carly announces that she knows another way out. She leads the party through the kitchen and around to a washroom. Carly pulls a sink aside and reveals a hidden crawlspace or tunnel.

The tunnel is cramped and covered in the emotional residue of Carly's obsession. As the group crawls through it, Carly mutters that everyone is mean to her, that Marina is overreacting, and that Mruno is going to kiss her. She believes she has manifested the moment through years of romantic intent.

The party emerges on Baron Street behind the tavern, approximately a block away. They are covered in beer, flour, and the consequences of the performance.

Carly gets her kiss

Carly stands with her arms behind her back, swaying and waiting. She asks Mruno for the kiss she believes he promised her. Mruno looks toward Marina, apologizes, and gives Carly a passionate kiss so the group can finish escaping.

Carly swoons and treats the kiss as proof that her long-term romantic plan has worked. Marina gives Mruno a dirty look and is clearly furious that he kissed her sister.

Marina tells Mruno that the kiss was passionate and that she did not expect him to do that. Mruno responds that he never promised Marina anything, then tells Marina that the kiss with her was the best kiss he has ever had. Marina is not reassured.

Leaving Ashwood Hollow

Marina decides that the band and the evening were both the best and worst experience of her life. She is not interested in continuing the romantic or musical complications and stays in Ashwood Hollow.

The party leaves town toward Port Town and the island route. Grenak wants more beer, and Valen's jug becomes a possible source. Behind them, Ashwood Hollow descends into bonfires and shouting.

A second consecutive town has become a riot zone in the party's wake. A pattern is beginning to form, although no one is emotionally prepared to admit what the common factor might be.